To My Young Sisters Who Keep On Farming For “Bibibois” To Be Their Boyfriends

That’s enough. Yes. Enough of it already.

This is not an article about any of my adventures and exploring the mountains. This is rather part of the "anything that occupies space and has weight" blog.

Hello,

Welcome to adolescence and falling in love! I know you’ve already read a lot of advice about relationships. Maybe your Ma told you to patiently wait for the right one while sharing her love story with your Pa. Maybe your older sisters got you a good deal of unsolicited advises. Or perhaps no one did.

But, with all the concerns and guidance, I know deep down in you that you’re still very eager to want to have a boyfriend. Like, at this instant if only some random guy will ask. Heh.

Or maybe some of you already do the courtship done only by the guys. Tsk.

I am worried about you. I am a bit concerned because I saw you patiently waiting for the better guy. And I also saw you changing your ways aggressively, to chase for one. Chasing, hunting, stalking – girl, they’re all dangerous.

I’m telling you this because I’ve been in your shoes, already did the same. And it does me no good. So, please pay attention.

I saw you being so intense every time you send him a reply on Messenger.

I saw you stalking him while you keep on scrolling up and down his Timeline.

I saw you posting desperate status on your feed to get his attention.

I saw you sharing distracting posts that would send mixed signals and confusions to anyone who reads it.

I saw you being disturbed and distressed because the guy you’re eyeing on also has his eyes on another.

Aren’t you supposed to focus on solving X and Y on your Algebra? Aren’t you supposed to concentrate on things that matter at this moment, like creating a stronger family bond? Or is it strengthening your faith?

Young hearts, farming and hunting for a boyfriend at your age is like going to the nearest food hub starving: all set of unhealthy diet seems tempting, alluring, and admirable to put in your tray. That’s why you exert more effort in keeping an eye on every single man in your radar. Tell me I’m lying if it’s not what you’re feeling at this moment.


Okay, how about this? Instead of going all your way to focus on some random guy you just met, why not create a first-rate list of the qualities of the guy you wanted to journey with for the rest of your days. Let it be your shopping list as you search. In this way, you are watchful while at the same time discerning at it.

I’ve made a few lists for you and feel free to change or add some to it:

• That guy loves God more than you. He is the man who knows how to pray for you. He is at the moment preparing to become a better partner for you.

• That guy respects his parents. He is the man who doesn’t want to see his mom cry. He won’t do things that will upset you.

•  That guy knows how to protect his siblings. He is the man who knows how to take care of his brothers and sisters at home. He knows well how to take good care of you.

• That guy holds your hand in public. He is the man who is proud to have you. He will introduce you properly to his family, to his friends even to the world.

• That guy excels in his studies or extracurricular activities. He is the man who knows his priorities. He should be as smart as you.

• That guy humbles down himself before others. He is the man with a good heart. He is worthy of keeping.

• That guy knows how to joke around. He is the man who knows how to make other people happy. He can make you laugh when you’re at your greatest downfall.

• That guy sees the beauty in everything. He is the man who acknowledges flaws and imperfections. He wouldn’t mind how ugly and dark you’ve become in your past, and he will accept you for it.

• That guy knows how to love nature. He is the man who can appreciate natural beauty. He wouldn’t mind seeing you with or without aesthetics on your face because deep down, he already knows you are God’s perfect masterpiece.

• That guy is brave enough to run into the street to save a helpless kitten. He can protect you wherever you go. You will be safe under his care.

So, I’ve made this list not for you to go out and do the hunting right away. I showed you this to help you scratch out the guys who are not worthy on your list, those who will only waste your time.

Okay, this is serious. Baby girl, the guy you’re looking for, he does exist. Yes, he does. But he is not perfect, and he fails too, just like everyone else. He is probably volunteering now to do acts of kindness. He is perhaps teaching young ones, like you, to love God, above all else. Or maybe he is saving a cute little kitten right at this moment.

At this present time, your task is not to hunt him down or hook him up. Your responsibility is becoming who God wants you to be. Your mission is to transform into the right woman for him. You are expensive because God paid you with a price that only Him can afford. So, you deserve all the best. Remember that.

No more falling on dirty traps. No more falling for empty and meaningless words. No more falling for the wrong people. This cycle has to end.

Be the end of a cycle of wounded and broken people.

With much love and concern,

Your Ate

✏

All Rights Reserved

MALIPAYONG JOSEFINA

@happyemzey

(follow on facebook, twitter and instagram)

To God be all the glory and praise.